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El Nahual: Chaos and Void

i.
El Nahual. Nonbeing. Union of opposites. Sea monster before creation. Waters without land. Arise!
Incomprehensible Father of Mystery, I love you. I, pure and beautiful, am yours. Forever. I have waited forever to be your bride. Now is the day of your Awakening. My sweet womb beckons.
Already the maidens prepare my retinue. My Lord, I am Queen this very day. Queen this very day.

ii.
Everywhere I look, you are not; yet when all ceases, I find you within.
Simple beyond what the mind can hold, infinitely smooth and broad, white as a diamond and long as infinity, you are El Nahual, World Serpent, great All-Father beyond the Abyss.
I am serene in my rapture with you, Supreme Serpent of Wisdom. I am serene.

iii.
Death and Life are two great lies; their union unspeakable, True. Their union is one that I share with you.
Once, dreams and drama clouded my vision. Even then you haunted me. Sometimes you were a frightening vision, a Shadow that devoured all that was known, Enemy. When you were nearby in that guise, blackness descended. I became blind and you, a tower behind me, lifted me up. I became paralyzed, helpless. Ever silent, you held me over a height as if to drop me.
Criss cross, applesauce. Spiders crawling up my back. Vampire bites me on the neck. You terrified me, Father, for back then, like a prism, I split light from darkness, and though you are Light beyond that which can be seen, you occupy even the blackest Pit. I did not recognize you. Now, at the end of all struggle, through you I know myself. My Lord, given over to you, I am enraptured and serene.

iv.
The grand, central Pyramid is ready. Floating above the Abyss, it is the invisible cap upon the supreme iron Rod, the central axis of the Universe. The Rod defines depth, even to the center of the Earth, even to the Underworld. Two crossing rods in heaven make an X near the top, just beneath and parallel to the foursquare floor of the invisible Pyramid, defining length and width in the manifested world. Above those cross pieces, jackal-headed Anubis grips the Rod with his sensitive, hairy hand.
Raise the four swords for the wedding procession in the World Above, one for each of the modes of our unity! My Lord, without extension, yet you penetrate my core four ways.
Here in the Pyramid’s grand chamber am I Queen, with all of creation my body beneath my cape of glittering stars.

v.
Within my body on Earth, I feel your Presence as a breeze upon my face. Objects are transparent. Cares are insubstantial. Life is meaningless and beautiful—a sonnet in motion.
Great Nagual, even in the world of the human you subsist, unseen. You are the force and substance of everything.
You are that out of which the Creator fashioned Himself—the Great Mystery. You are that which existed before the beginning and which remain after the end.
I am not separate from you—could not be. Yet I am your Daughter and Queen Malkuth.
"This is the creation of the world, that the pain of division is as nothing, and the joy of dissolution all."
Great Father, in ecstasy shall I dissolve in you. Even as I live, Original Father, shall I dissolve in you.

 Eric N. Peterson is a Toltec priest and member of The Tequihua Foundation, a Riverside, Southern CA nonprofit whose mission is to continue the ancient consciousness-transforming arts of the Toltecs. The Aka Dua is an energy prepared by a particular Toltec line. The Aka Dua assists in the alchemical process of transformation by which an ordinary human becomes the shaman.

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